After 2020, I am experiencing this hyper-awareness of the differences between how things are and how things should have been. The Germans have a word for it—weltchmerz—that precarious interlude between expectation and reality, and the disappointment that this awareness usually generates.
I took a few days off to regroup, ponder things. The first draft took a few years just to get organized, but it was the second draft that opened things up and made me feel things. After being so immersed in the 19th century for years now, I feel like I am on a first name basis with my subjects.
After I finish inking the posters already penciled, I hope I can get the third draft finished this year (fingers crossed), and when my husband is done going over it, I want to have one other person go over it and then send it off to be designed and laid out. My goal is late next year.
For about 15 years now, I have obsessed on one main topic that has many layers and side-roads. The research got deeper and darker, and even now I still feel like I have only hit the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
To help facilitate my research, I was able to track down numerous historical specimens that are primarily from the 19th century going back the French Revolution.
I have never shown these pieces publicly because I wanted to properly write about their chronological histories, especially since many pieces have their own extensive curriculum vitae.
To further my research, there was a book that came out late last year that I was really looking forward to reading, it is based on a topic similar to my own, so of course when I finally got a copy, I couldn’t wait to dive in.
I have to say, it was astounding to me how the author was able to make this very particular subject so incredibly dry, disjointed, political and dull. I was only able to slog my way through 115 pages of just 230 pages, though at times it truly felt like 500 pages … Anyway.
Music: Exposure by Robert Fripp