History Obliterated

Sometimes I feel like I am collecting souvenirs of memories that aren’t even my own. And that’s OK.

I am still watching Merve as I work, her videos has been a godsend for me. There are a few others I like, but I am still partial to Merve’s videos. She’s an International Relations Master of Research student at the University of Glasgow and is currently living in Glasgow, Scotland.

She has two study locations, her home office and at the Library at the University of Glasgow. I tend to favor the Library videos, but her home office is very nice too.

The Book
I am starting 1893 tonight, it has been slow going. I am nearing the end and trying to tie up stray loose ends which invariably creates an unraveling, I follow the thread and the longer it gets, the more horrified I am at all the changes that need to made. I am always happy when I can muddle my way out of a scary situation, wondering if I will ever find my way back again and when I do, it feels like a huge accomplishment.

I am thinking the book will be around 700 plus pages, limited edition hardbound with numerous never-before-seen photos of extremely controversial pieces from my private collection. The second book will probably be around 500 plus pages, mostly images from my private collection along with images from my 36 scrapbooks.

My husband is currently working on a documentary about the 1990s, and we both realized that we will probably have to put warning labels on both of our projects because - holy shit, I cannot believe how straight-edge Polly-pure and humorless people have become.

The book is primarily set in New York City and its local environs, which meant having to fly cross country to see if any of these places still existed. Thankfully they did but now, today, many of them are all gone. It is kind of amazing to me to see pieces of American history just disappear.

One place in New York I made it a point to visit in 2015, 2016, & 2018. I was able to get inside in 2015 and see where it all happened in my book,. When I was finally standing there, I burst into tears because I had written so much about this one main location, it felt like I could hear the walls talking to me. And then in 2018, it was totally obliterated. Right now, there is a glass and corrugated steel condo in its place. I did not see it when I was In New York in 2019, it would have broke my heart in two.

Music: The Same Disease by Michal Menert


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Gristle Widdershins

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